After years of hopeless romance and unrequited love, I have finally established a relationship worth my time. I met my current partner, “Rob,” at a graduation party a little over a year ago. At the start of that afternoon, he and I were total strangers, but towards the end of the night, he was studying my every move and I found myself opening my heart up to him. It didn’t take long for us to get serious, and right off the bat, we had a connection I’d never experienced before; something intimate and unexplainable, a love I needed to last forever. Unfortunately, like every seemingly perfect relationship, we had quite a few hurdles to jump. Rob and I are both sophomores in college; he’s at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore while I’m at Boston University. Our two cities are roughly 408 miles apart. That’s a two-hour plane ride, a seven-hour train ride, ten hours of driving, or seven days of walking. Also keep in mind that, as unemployed 19-year-olds, we do not want to spend much money.
To put it simply, I’m in a long-distance relationship, a term that scares most couples. 14 million couples claim to be in long-distance relationships, and some statistics say almost 40% of those will end in breakups. Still, there is always hope. Studies on relationships should be taken with a grain of salt because dating is subjective. Science cannot predict the outcome of a given relationship with certainty. For example, Rob and I endure no touching, no kissing, no sharing baskets of fries. All we have is our phone screens and, occasionally, a video game online. With classes and homework added to the mix, our situation is a nightmare, but by some miracle we still make it work.
On an average Thursday morning, Rob wakes up at 9 A.M. for his class an hour later. Luckily for me, my lectures begin at noon, but no matter how late I sleep in, my morning begins with a text that reads, “Good morning my queen,” or something along those lines. I respond just as cheesily, and for the next few hours we text in between classes and during lunch breaks. I usually facetime him in the afternoon, or if I’m walking the mile trek back from class I’ll simply give him a call. We ask frivolous questions—How did you sleep? What’d you eat for breakfast? Who are you seeing later?—but important ones nonetheless.
When night falls, we might have an activity arranged. Our favorite virtual dates are over Xbox, but recently we’ve been discussing movies and even online sleepovers. On the occasion that one of us decides to go out, we have rules set. Rule one is to never lose contact: no matter how much excitement arises, we must tell one another where we’re and how long we plan to be there. Rule two is to not become too intoxicated: if we decide to drink there must be a limit in order to stay safe and level-headed. Rule three is to remain with people we trust. My time at parties is mostly spent with close friends whom I trust. We make a point to avoid dangerous situations and people who may pose a threat to our relationship.
Apart, Rob and I are always a bit sad, but we’re not miserable and we’re never angry. If one of us has an issue with the other, we simply have a conversation. We communicate whenever we can, and if that’s not enough, then we pick a weekend to plan an in-person meeting. Long-distance relationships are possible, and with effort, they can also be happy. Not every bond is meant to last. Some might not have the capacity to handle the time differences and conflicting schedules, and may choose to let love go. However, if you decide to keep it, set some boundaries, plan some dates, and know that you and your partner can always find time for one another, even if it’s just a few minutes.
Resources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABwCeGHYYxM
Long- Distance, Boundaries
