A Three-Step Guide to “Touching Grass”

So, you’ve been told you need to go touch grass. Maybe you were in an argument, maybe you were stating an opinion about your favorite character, or maybe you were writing a condemnation of someone’s behavior. What does that phrase even mean, and what are you supposed to do about it? 

This is a relatively new saying among internet users, usually said in fanclub settings where inclusion and participation in that social group encourages some level of intense fixation. Broadly speaking, however, this is not a new sentiment. Other (older) ways of putting it would be “you’re losing the forest for the trees,” or “you need to take a step back/look at the bigger picture.” Given the nature of the internet (a collection of social groups curated for voracious consumption), losing touch is widely recognized as an unhealthy state of mind that’s dangerously easy to slip into no matter where it happens–Reddit, Facebook, TikTok, the app formerly known as Twitter, and many others.

You can recognize this state in yourself and others by its main cause and trait: accidental isolation from the outside world in a way that lets your perception and convictions drift from what they used to be. It’s usually caused by putting a hobby, pastime, or interest at the center of your identity. As a statement, it’s typically an argument-ender intended to say they don't think the topic of discussion is nearly as important as you’re making it out to be. It has a derogatory bent to it, but it can happen to anyone.

Recognizing that you’ve entered this state is a good way to start moving away from it. Simplicity is key. Life can be complicated, but the things you’re passionate about should give you more joy than stress. This article is a guide on recognizing and mitigating that state of mind. 

Step 1: Recognition

Heated arguments about nothing of consequence can pop up anywhere, and knowing when to exit those social situations (or better, how to avoid them in the first place) is a learned skill. In the meantime, here are some questions to ask yourself as you engage in a passion of yours.

• Is this social group more critical than supportive of my efforts?

• Do I rely on these people/things to give me momentary satisfaction, or a sense of acceptance?

• Would someone I know outside this social group understand or care about this drama without a long-winded explanation?

If your answer is “yes” to any of these, then it might be time to take a step back.

Step 2: Short-term solutions

The first thing you can do to “take a step back” is to take that advice literally. The direct meaning of the phrase “go touch grass” is a good start, but let’s dig deeper into the mechanics of how it works and what it looks like.

• Put down the book, leave the party, turn off your phone, close your laptop, etc. This is generally a good idea with anything that’s making you angry or stressed, at least momentarily, but it’s also important if you need time to consider your relationship with the activity. 

• Give yourself permission to completely banish the website from your mind. Temporarily suppress thoughts of it in favor of unrelated activities. 

• Some of those unrelated activities might include talking to a roommate, calling a relative, or going on a walk. Take a moment to appreciate something in the world that catches your eye instead. 

The idea is to engage in activities that clear the mind and have nothing to do with the website.

Step 3: Long-term solutions

Actively suppressing thoughts of something causing you stress is a bad idea in the long-term. Eventually, the root cause of that problem is going to pop up again: you were in that situation for a reason. It filled a need, and you need to recognize and fill whatever need that was. Maybe stepping back for a moment and recognizing that your own habits were making you unhappy was enough to reduce your desire to interact with it naturally, but if it isn’t, you can take small steps to reduce your exposure. You can…

• Take a short social media break

• Dive into something new, yet related (a book of the same genre for instance, or a side account for consumption instead of participation).

• If the social group is in-person, then find excuses to hang out with them less often.

Conclusion

 Listen, we’ve all been there. It could be a book club, a clique, a cause on social media, or a fan club, but people of all ages run the risk of caring a little too much without proper recognition strategies. There’s such a thing as too much of a good thing, after all, so that goes for your hobbies and friends too. Be mindful of their impact on your mental health, and strike a balance of effort between all aspects of your life.