Surveys in Western cultures find that, on average, about 93% of men and 87% of women identify as completely heterosexual. These numbers align with the idea that this is the norm. Society as a whole reflects upon this idea that the majority rules, and that society should follow the needs of the majority. Throughout history, this idea has been expressed in the laws and social rules that people were expected to follow. This expectation of heterosexuality being considered the norm is heteronormativity.
Compulsory heterosexuality was a term popularized by Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay titled "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” in which she puts forth the idea that heterosexuality is something that is enforced upon women due to the patriarchal and heteronormative nature in society. It is a theory that has been controversial and groundbreaking for the experiences of women questioning their sexuality. In Rich’s essay, she questioned the assumption that heterosexuality is "natural" and suggests that it is a product of societal norms and cultural pressures. Though she was married to a man and had three children, their marriage ended in 1970, and her husband later died by suicide. Afterward, Rich came out as a lesbian, which became an important aspect of her identity and work. While the idea of compulsory heterosexuality is something that could affect other genders as well, not much research has been done on compulsory heterosexuality, so in this article, we will focus on the effects on women.
In the early years of the United States, heterosexuality, as the sole sexuality one could identify as, was doxa. Doxa refers to beliefs or norms that are accepted as common sense or the default, often without critical examination. In our history, the doxa that has been commonplace is more critically analyzed, especially when people have their own ideas that deviate from what is considered the ‘norm.’ Due to this, some may believe the concept of compulsory heterosexuality no longer exists. Today, women have the right to marry another woman and freely express that in public. If this is as such, how can a woman ever feel the pressure to comply with what is no longer the norm?
As stated earlier, 87% of women identify as completely heterosexual. This number suggests that heterosexuality is still the norm. Society is still based on heteronormative ideals, and this can pressure young women to conform. This can be seen through the doxa perpetuated in marriage and family norms, gender roles, media and popular culture, education, and socialization, as well as religious and moral norms. All of these things still impact young women’s ideas on sexuality.
In her essay, Rich does not claim that all women are secretly lesbians, but she does suggest that the pervasive societal pressure to conform to heterosexual norms may lead some women to repress or ignore their attraction to other women.
In an article published by the Irish Times, Moïra Fowley describes her experience with compulsory heterosexuality. She expresses how she came out at the age of 15, had a loving, supporting family, and went to a progressive school. It became her doxa, that she must present as attracted to the opposite gender. Though, as she got older, her experience changed.
I found myself faced by people of authority - outside of my family and school - who pathologized my sexuality by insisting it was a symptom of mental illness, because I couldn't possibly know I was a lesbian at 17. It was strongly suggested to me, over and over, that in order to get better I should stop dating girls and start dating boys. I was a young, vulnerable person working desperately towards recovery, so little by little I internalized those messages, alongside a great deal of self-hatred. I started to date boys. I couldn't deny that I was attracted to girls, and when pressed called myself bisexual, but shame hid in the cracks of the lie.
The pressure to conform hasn’t dissipated simply because the rights of lesbians have shifted since the past. Different aspects of the social institutions of society play their role in how a person chooses to present their sexuality, and the heteronormative nature of society that remains allows a negative effect on girls in society to comply with compulsory sexuality. Hanne Blank writes about the concept of doxa, and heterosexuality becoming doxa in her book Straight: The Surprisingly Short History Of Heterosexuality and to quote her, “We don't just want what we want because we want it; we want what we want because that's what we've learned to want.”
Although the term “Compulsory Sexuality” was first popularized by Rich in her essay in 1980, it became popular once again in recent years on TikTok after a master doc called “Am I a Lesbian” was posted anonymously on the social media platform, Tumblr. It explained the idea of compulsory heterosexuality in simpler terms and was controversial, especially due to the nature of it seeming to erase the experience of bisexual women, but it also helped many women validate their own experiences. The type of criticism received in this more modern take on compulsory heterosexuality differs from that in the early 80s, when Rich wrote her famous essay, focused more on the erasure of bisexuality, showing the progress and that acceptance has improved in society. Despite many heteronormative standards that proceed in society, many women have the freedom to choose to express themselves freely, deviating from what they used to be.
Although we have made progress in the right direction in terms of rights, the heteronormative standards that remain in society not only harm queer women, but heterosexual women as well. In an article titled Heteronormativity and Women's Psychosocial Functioning in Heterosexual and Same-Sex Couples, Habarth et al. describes how heteronormative behavioral attitudes (NB) negatively relate to several aspects of the pursuit of happiness and well-being among women. This suggests that the societal expectations tied to heteronormativity can influence individuals' internal beliefs and potentially affect their personal development and growth. The evidence indicates that women, who endorse heteronormative behavioral attitudes, tend to have lower levels of autonomy, personal growth, and sense of purpose (NB-related findings). The text explicitly states, "actor NB scores negatively associated with autonomy, personal growth, and purpose," pointing to how social dynamics around heteronormativity can shape internal attitudes and potentially limit individuals' sense of self and agency.
Compulsory heterosexuality remains a powerful force in society, shaping the choices, identities, and self-perceptions of many women. Despite significant strides in LGBTQ+ rights, heteronormative expectations continue to exert pressure on women to conform to traditional gender roles, family structures, and societal norms. The impact of heteronormativity extends beyond legal rights to influence personal growth, autonomy, and well-being. In the second part of this article, we will delve deeper into how compulsory heterosexuality manifests in various aspects of society, from marriage and family norms to media representation, education, and religious institutions. By exploring these domains, we can better understand the complexities of heteronormativity and find ways to create more inclusive and accepting environments for women of all orientations.
Dismantling the Doxa: The Influence of Compulsory Heterosexuality on Women’s Identities
Written By
Melody Minerva
May 5, 2024
Via Alexander Grey - Unsplash