“Oh, my friend? He’s the blonde Twink,” my college acquaintance Jane announced before waving me over to her circle of friends at a party. Feeling like a deer in headlights, I walked over to her friends and claimed myself as her ‘twink’. After the laughter subsided, I felt my face flush red–it was one of many times I was reminded of how straight people categorize me and other queer people. I remember leaving the circle later and walking over to my close friend Cole, who got called a twink five minutes earlier, with my head down. He cracked a smile and mocked Jane, exclaiming, “THESE ARE MY TWINK FRIENDS WHO ARE SO OBVIOUSLY GAY!”  He then asked, “Does she know what that even means?” I don’t even think she did. 

Why Should Straight People Stop Using Twink?

Young, blonde, slender, feminine, submissive, flamboyant, suggestive, and “too gay”; these are words used to categorize, sexualize, and define an archetype of queer men known as ‘Twinks’. Over the past couple of years, straight people have increasingly used this term in conversation, likely because of a shift in pop culture. This can be seen in films such as Call Me By Your Name, where Timothée Chalamet faced countless “twink allegations” because of his looks, despite not identifying as queer — an example of straight people already misusing the term. Even more recent media, like Heated Rivalry, sparked an uprising of this term, with people throwing the word twink around on social media. With this in mind, it makes sense why the term is becoming popularized–it’s new to the mainstream audience, and it’s associated with gay culture; straight cis people have eventually adopted it. However, there are various reasons as to why this word should not be casually tossed around in conversation. People like Jane told me that the term was never meant to be harmful, but it’s hard to deny how straight cis people have weaponized it as yet another way to degrade and make sense of something they don’t understand. Whether it’s met with good intentions or not, the underlying homophobia that’s used with it boils this down to a degrading term that hypersexualizes young queer people. 

Celebrities such as Troye Sivan and Olly Alexander have expressed their distaste for the term. Sivan, in a TikTok responding to an allegation that he used his Sweat Tour as a way to hook up with men, bashed the blind item as homophobic and insensitive. Because the blind item called him a twink, Sivan finished his video by stating that the word twink, when used by straight people, is just a replacement for the f-slur. In his own interview, Alexander expressed how degrading it is that this term is used to define him when he is more than just a label. Both experiences show how homophobia is evolving, especially Sivan’s comment about “twink” becoming a slur in itself–another example of why straight people shouldn’t use this term. 

Alexander raises a strong point about the fetishization of twinks, and it’s important to address it. Twink is also commonly used as a search term on pornographic websites. When searched for, you will find images of twinks, most of them frighteningly young, white, and consistently dominated by an older male partner. It implies that these ‘twinks’ are meant to be submissive, which can be harmful to young queer men watching porn for sexual self-discovery.  It gives them a wrongful idea of what masculinity should look like and how they should be treated when, in reality, masculinity can take many forms. These sexual constructs surrounding twinks force the idea into young gay men that femininity is inherently submissive and something that should be conquered. This is inherently misogynistic and a harmful ideal for these men to be consuming, especially when they are impressionable and are searching for secure, experimental spaces where they can feel seen. 

This context can be shocking, and it should be–especially for people who casually throw twink around in conversation. Categorizing young gay people into a term with a hypersexual nuance is harmful and degrading. It can give young gay men a false sense of identity that they may internalize. Hold yourself and your friends accountable. And next time you see me at a party– don’t call me a twink.