Transcribed by: Hawa Kante

Zoe: Hey, everyone it's Zoe and today we will be talking about toys on squirt

London: Hey everyone, I'm London and I'm excited for this episode. We got a lot of spicy things to get into.

Bethany: Hey guys, this is Bethany. I'm much more embarrassed of the three of us. So I'm just gonna be blushing through this episode. I'm glad it's not a video. Oh, whoa, sexy. Tyree.

Zoe:  Very excited for this episode. So like we said, we'll be talking about sex toys. You might know them as sex toys. You might know them as adult toys. You might know them as marital aids.

Bethany:  I think that word for them is hilarious. I have never heard of that. So Maritza, who made part of this outline, put the marital aid and I totally forgot. They were called that and it totally drinks just like some old timey housewife, like, imagery with it. Like, that's what I'm imagining like some bitch and like her curlers from like, the 40s. who's like, so my husband doesn't know I bought some marital. It's like, you know, like, passion about it.

Zoe: And then she's just like, Absolutely, like Robin went out and like our house dress like in the back of the garage. Yep, that's it. That's what I think of any.

London: Graphic you got. And I love that for you.

Bethany: Yeah, I was like, I was just going for a general vibe. And Zoe's like, let me set up the portal for you.

Zoe:Yeah, basically, though, you don't think of that? You don't. Okay. It's fine. I'll just sit there.

London: I mean, I do from now on Yeah, now, because you're just aggressively ingrained in my mind.

Bethany: Anytime anyone thinks of marital aids now, it's gonna be a housewife in the garage, like diddling yourself. 

Zoe: Absolutely, can't be seen in the house doing that, It's too much sexism.

Bethany: So the straight definition though, for sex toys via Planned Parenthood, are objects people use to have more pleasure during sex or masturbation. Sometimes sex toys can also have medical uses if you have a sexual dysfunction or other medical condition.

Zoe: The other really cool thing about sex toys too, for trans folks, non binary folks and gender non conforming folks, certain sex toys actually might help affirm their gender identity or help relieve gender dysphoria. There's actually quite a few of these, and they're becoming a lot more affordable. And also just like, more accessible, which I think is really, really cool. And then, you know, with that, too, we've come a long way. The first SEC stories we think originated around 29,000 BC.

Bethany: That's so insane to me. 29,000 BC.

London: People already just needed to get an A, 

Bethany: I'm like a caveman. And in my caveman brain was just like, I want to shove something.

London: I love that people have always been like this, though. Like, it's not a new development. how people always always, stories of like, growing up, they show something up themselves that they shouldn't have. It's like, people have always been like this.

Bethany: But like, look so so it says maybe 29,000 BCE because they can't actually prove that that's what it is. Even though it's like the right shape. And the other ones are still super old. Like we're still rocking the BCS like There's an old Chinese art of like people using dildos and there's like paintings of the Greeks like fucking each other with strap ons and stuff. It's like, human beings are perverse. Motherfuckers and we always have and that's what's.

Zoe: This is true.

London: There's so many things with history. I always think about how far off base we are because there's just so much we like to ignore in the sense of just like, taboo topics like this. It's like, that's, it's like some people might look at look at it and be like, Oh, this is a beautiful artifact and someone's like, just comes up and it's like, That's a fucking dildo. What are you talking about?

Bethany: Like, dude just shove up your ass. 

London:  Like just thinking of like, even now like today, someone finds anal beads, right? Yeah, I think that's just like being shiny and pretty. And like they find it like 100 years from now. And they're just like, this is a great artifact. And I like to say it was a bracelet.

Bethany: It was prayer beads, they use them for ritual worship, praying to their god.

Zoe: I just It always makes me laugh to think 1000s and 1000s of years ago, there was just some person just getting strapped.

Bethany:  It's a polished runway? 

Zoe: Yeah, so it was usually a polished rock.

Bethany: So yeah, we've come a long way from Polish rocks, they buzz and jump in to all sorts of things and cartwheels and write essays and all this shit.

Zoe: Then another one or another piece of history that I want to talk about too, is that we used to use, like the first one vibrators were created from doctors who used to use it to treat hysteria, which if you're not familiar with hysteria was kind of this like catch all diagnosis for someone who was not like behaving properly in heavier quotations. So like if she was listening to her husband, or if she was just in a bad mood, or whatever, whatever, whatever her husband would take her to the doctor or one of the treatments would literally just be her getting masturbated by the doctor.

Bethany:  I did want to add to that. So that is a super, super popular theory. And it's really based on this like one research study done in like 1999, I was reading an article from the BBC, that are actually saying more and more that they did not actually use vibrators in the doctor's office, because in that research article, she references like five different doctor papers that don't even like mention what she's talking about. And like some of it was kind of a stretch. And a lot of her theory is based on the fact that they didn't know women had orgasms. They called them like paroxysms or something. And that disagrees with a great deal of medical research on the time, which already very much acknowledged that women had orgasms, and they were already considered taboo on their own, by that point where they're trying to say that, Oh, no, like, they didn't know that it was an orgasm, because you know, women couldn't have those feelings. So while the vibrator invented in the doctor's office theory is the most common also due to pop culture. Just know it is argued very much. So they don't actually know.

London: I would like to think that they made that story up, because they just wanted to try to get rid of some of the taboo around it. And so they can have an excuse to be like, because you said it was a woman who wrote it. So she just makes an excuse to be like, Yeah, I might be a little hysterical, but I just need to rub one off. And it's scientifically proven.

Bethany: kind of scientifically proven.

London: Like, here's the data.

Bethany: No, it is important to me to say that this research is being done by women. So like it is not even got that like male gaze sheen on it. And I think even the modern research was also done by a female team. Um, and it's not that her research was based on nothing. It's that her research was a little bit of a stretch, like some of the one of the treatments she referenced, was for, like really bad uterine cramps, where they would provide electric shocks the inside of like the vaginal canal, to like, stimulate your uterus to like, make it stop hurting. But one of the big things the doctor kept mentioning over and over again, was that it was not a pleasant sensation. So if it's unpleasant, it doesn't really follow that whole Jack and I'm off in the office thing does it?

London: Yeah, so this definitely was just a scam. So they could be like, let us rub one out in the doctors. Like someone's got a lot of steel.

Bethany: I don't know, it could go either way. Like I totally believe Oh, we found definitive proof. Like don't get me wrong, like I would buy it. That's some dude was like, yeah, we'll just jack pitches off. They'll stop whining, it'll be fine. Like, I could totally see that. But you know, it's just if there's a little debate about it.

Zoe: There's a lot of really interesting history. One could argue I love to see it. I love a little debate, especially when it's history like this to you because it's like, Do you not want to admit it? Or and we've we've come a long way from vibrators in the doctor's offices. There are a ton of different toy types from vibrators to dildos to Adel toys to pumps to sleeves to strap ons, the list goes on. Most of the common types are click vibes, clit suckers, G Spot vibes, prostate procedures. For me. My personal favorite is the unbound and it is their Ollie which is a wand vibrator and it's slow and rumbly and I love it. It was also terrifying when I first bought it because that thing is strong.

London: I love it. I feel like I have so many vibrators in six toys that it is just hard to like, go through them all and pick a fav. But I feel like I'm always good with a nice simple vibrator because I feel like that's something that's true to you. You can always come back to it. It's very easy just like it doesn't even have to be something big, like a little bullet vibrating. I have all Yeah, like even just a little bullet, like I've outgrown bullets, but I feel like if I needed something that smaller, just half with me, I would get like, I feel like if I was that horny person that always needed something. I'll get a bullet vibrator and just have it in my purse all the time.

Bethany: They make them discreet. You can get one that looks like lipstick or some shit. They'll never know.

London: Exactly and you can just always have it on you because I just feel like some of the other toys are hard to like, always have and always rely on. That's like my favorite type of toy. A good click sucker is great though.

Zoe: For sure. I used to keep a little lipstick shaped vibrator in my car, mostly as a conversation piece. Oh, I never actually used it.

Bethany: What was the conversation?

Zoe: Ex​​actly because, um, you know, I like I'd keep it in my glove box. If they helped me grab something in my glove box. Like if I ask them to then they'd pull it out and be like, What the fuck is this? And it's like, huh, let's have a conversation.

Bethany: Yeah. I think the stupid like clit sucker things are so fucking overrated. Everyone's all about them lately. And they're all such hype, and they're so goddamn expensive. And I don't think they're that great. And I'm going to say it here and I'm gonna put it out there like quote me on that. Not that great.

London: I agree. They're overhyped. That's why I always love a good, just regular vibrator.

Bethany: Yeah, like that can't fail you.

London: Unless you're getting a very good quality toy. That's like very expensive, very strong, which most of us aren't, you need a simple toy. If you're just trying to do too much in a toy. It's just cheap. It's like this isn't what they say. It's gonna be

Bethany: Okay, so I used what I got one, and it was expensive, by the fucking way too damned expensive. And I was using it and I was just like, wow, this is like a lot. And not in a good way. Not in love, I can get into this sort of way. It was just like that's like a lot. It only had speeds like, I need more variation than that, I think.

London: Yeah, I think one that I can't get into is like the clip liquor. Just think they're so fucking weird looking. I feel like I wouldn't be able to enjoy that. I feel like that wouldn't do anything for me. Just the feeling of like a little fake plastic tongue.

Bethany: I feel like there's something visually interesting about them, just like the idea. If you watched someone using one, it would just I don't know, like visually.

Zoe: I don't know that she would get lost in my bed flaps.

London: Like I've seen porn of people using them. And I'm like, it doesn't look like it's given much but you know.

Bethany: no, it doesn't. But I don't know. It looks more artsy than anything else like arthouse porn more than anything else. You know?

Zoe: I gotta add that to my to watch list because now I'm curious what the fuck does it look like?

Bethany: Right after this is always googling like click liquor toy porn.

Zoe: Exactly,as recommended by a coworker.

Bethany: Hey, and this is the one time HR doesn't have to get involved.

London: You guys, if you don't know a good way to scout toys, if they're popular is to look at videos of people using them. Like on porn sites. I feel like when I'm toy shopping from time to time, I'll do that. And I'm like, I need to get a feel.

Bethany: Babe. Babe, are you watching porn right now? No, no, I'm doing research for my shopping. It's not porn. It doesn't count.

Zoe: Absolutely,That's honestly such a good idea.

London:  Like, I didn't do it on purpose. I heard of a toy and I was looking it up on Twitter to see what the girls were saying about it. And videos started popping up and I'm like, You know what, this is actually a good method of research. But then I started but okay, then I started getting corny walls. But afterwards I had to use my toy. No, I didn't have a toy. See? I was shopping for a toy.

Bethany:God likes you gotta have one just to go shopping for one.

London: For one and you go down the rabbit hole like I did. You're screwed and you have to use your hand to bring a friend that too. But going back to your hand from time to time is very important too. I feel like I just think sometimes I want to switch over something different from a toy.

Bethany: The hand is like all reliable. The true original Toy. Have you guys ever used those like sleeves?

London: Wait. What are you talking about?

Bethany: So it's like there's like a sleeve that you put over your penis and it makes your penis fatter.

London: Oh, I've never heard of that.

Zoe: Oh, I haven't used a sleeve. But I have you because it's called a tenga egg. And it's egg shaped. And on the inside, it has little designs on it. It's like a masturbatory sleeve. And that was kind of fun. 

Bethany: I've heard of that.

Zoe: Disfigured after like one use, and then you can never put it back in. It's a little container. So like, they're definitely like a one and done type of experience. But honestly, if I had a penis, who I would stick it in fucking anything, eggs, bowls of chips on my legs a couple times.

Bethany: In the pie.

London: I didn't expect you to say that. So I'm like, I'm like, is that a hard pivot or which is having everything? And you know, I agree. No, I used to say that. That's better than what I used to say. I have a penis. This was when I was younger. Now, I wouldn't say this because I realized this is literally sexual assault, but I was like, if had a penis and it was big, and I was proud of that shit, I want to I'd always look for a chance to pull it out. Now, I now know why that's wrong on many levels, but like, definitely, if I had a penis and it like was pretty or like a good size, I feel like I want the

Zoe: There's this kid that I well there are two kids that I went to school with two different penis stories. Anyways, so one of them, he literally no joke had a 10 inch penis, this thing was a fucking monster. And so during parties or whatever, you'd be like, Okay, does everyone want to see it? And usually, whatever we want to see, because, you know, we'd all make fun of and be like, there's no fucking way in hell. And so of course, it was usually pretty consensual, like, nothing was ever done with it. We just wanted to see his penis. And there was one time where it was at a party where he showed it to everyone. But I was in the bathroom because I had to pee and I missed it. And I'm still mad about it. There was another kid that I went to school with, who had a fucking like, Cochran he'd bring it out every now and then just to be like, Hey, you want to see my cock ring? Usually everyone's like, yeah, what the fuck does that look like? Yeah, I still haven't seen it. I'm mad about it.

Bethany: I think they come in like a few different ways. But the one that I tried was like silicone. Like just like a tube. Like, you know, like when you're like a kid in kindergarten, and you get like those little toys with like the water in them. And like, squish them.You put your dick in that to this. Essentially what is asleep? Just like, overall, I would say it was pretty interesting. Like it definitely added to the situation. The one complaint I would give is in foreskin land. That is kind of a difficult aspect. But I imagine if you didn't have any, it probably worked out pretty easy. But I feel like those were pretty nice. 

Zoe: Yeah, honestly, I never even thought about that. Really. I feel like there's also not a ton of sex toys. Like that kind of stuff. That makes sense for people with foreskin, you know?

Bethany: Yeah, you know, you'd actually be surprised how much foreskin gets in the way. So like, even like condoms, you know?

London: Okay, so I have a story. I don't know. I was it's kind of sure I was gonna fuck this dude. And he had trouble putting on the condom because of his foreskin. So I just think it was funny because it was funny because it was just such a disappointing moment. It's like a thing. Like, you're like, getting ready. And he's like, damn, and we were just like, damn, but yeah.

Bethany:I'm totally I'm totally teen foreskin, like I'm pro foreskin. I prefer it even like, as far as that goes. But just like,  it makes certain things easier. Also, it weirds me out that we cut chunks of genitals off of babies in general, kind of the whole thing just kind of weirds me out. But like, I kind of wish more things were built to accommodate that. Because back it's not really an issue now, because I do birth control. And I'm monogamous, so I don't really do the condom thing so much anymore. But back when we did condoms, I'd remember like putting them on in the beginning. And then like, the foreskin would start where it was supposed to be. But by the like, middle like it's already like, pulled back over the penis and like this is doing nothing anymore, you know?

Zoe: Yeah, it's really interesting. I really thought about that. I don't think I really have a preference either. But now I'm like, huh, who can be our foreskin test cup? 

Bethany: Just thinking about it? Maybe you do have a preference, right?

London: Like I don't know if I like sex with men enough to have a preference like it's barely a great time for me so yeah. 

Zoe: The only real fun that I have is when I get to strap a man like that beautiful. That's it. You know, those men are hard to come by.

London: Exactly. I just want to shock them man. That's it. And I like to continuously bring it up as a jokey joke, but I feel like you keep doing that kind of thing to convince them.

London:  I mean. But also like, I know you're scared, but we're gonna work there like you're gonna get so used to the idea that you're gonna be like Okay. 

Bethany: I'm kidding unless, 

Zoe: Unless

London:  It's just a joke, but let me touch your booty. And then yeah, just warm up. This is like the sounds very rapey like, it's not a promise it's opening your partner up to new things. And new holes. 

Bethany: Oh, speaking of, straps speaking of straps, so let's talk about them for a second important sex toy. One type of strap that I want to talk shit on is like the strapless one. You know? You know what I mean? Like the harness?

Zoe: Oh, Wait, what?

Bethany: You know, like, like strap ons, but they're like, strapless strap ons. Do you know what I mean? 

London: What?

Bethany: Okay, so like, in concept, super cool in concept. I'm like, like, you know, like, when you explain it to me, I'm like, Yeah, for sure. Like, that sounds like that works. But then in practical use, you're doing it and you're like, Oh, this is very difficult to make work. Actually.

Zoe:  I feel like there's a lot of clenching that would have to happen.

Bethany: And you'd have to be bone dry too. And you know, if I was like, in this situation, I got like this really cute girl under me. And she's having a good time. How much bone dry do you think is happening? Yeah, like, that's pretty much what ended up happening. I was like, bro, like, efforts were made.

Zoe: Interesting. I'll keep that in mind. Because I always thought those were cool. And I haven't done any porn research. But I feel like this is a good testimonial.

Bethany: I fell into that trap. Like, off the interwebs. I was like, Oh, they look really good. Like visually .

London: but aren't They're like two sided dildos anyway, like, it's not the same. That's not the same thing.

Zoe:  But the logistics of those always are just so difficult. 

Bethany: Yeah. It's like the whole concept of scissoring as a whole because yeah, that's just like scissoring plus some extended, you know, delta wing, you know? Yeah. Like, how does it really work? Like, where's all the legs going? And I feel like you gotta be like a skinny flexible bitch. to have somebody, like work out the logistics for you first.

London: It's like, what is going on here? Why am I doing this? Can we just get rid of this?

Zoe: To do it the old fashioned way with our hands.

Bethany: I can just do it to yourselves next to each other, it'll work. So as far as toys go, we actually have a little subsection for there's some key here shit out there in the world, too. They're talking about some of the key gear.

Zoe: Yeah, as someone who has a pole bruised. Please. You know what they create everything. Like we were saying earlier about the fact of if you can stick it in your body, it has been created, right? Stones, whatever, you know, goes crazy. And there are some interesting things I think especially you know, as people kind of venture into the like non side by side vanilla, if you will, exploration, there are a ton of things. There are swings. There are awaited cock rings, there are paddles and whips and feather dusters and Angel hooks and fall gags and even electro shock tools. So yeah, there's just a ton of things within this. So even if you're someone who might not fully enjoy the idea of penetration or vibration, or whatever, there's just so many different ways to explore. And I think that's really cool. And especially I think, in this day and age, a lot of these things are becoming much more accessible, just much more affordable. And I think that's really cool. I think there's something for everyone. You know, no matter who you are as a person.

Bethany: Honestly, I'm just looking at some of these sexy toys nobody.

London: Me too!

Bethany: Flogger, there's no hat on the animal hook.

London: Male chastity cage kid that's so funny bunny.

Bethany:The thing is fascinating. Have you guys looked at this?

Zoe: Have you ever seen the fucking Sybian?

Bethany: Yeah, that's pretty much what this is right? 

Zoe: Sybian is slightly more intense.

London: I couldn't imagine just having this just sitting in the corner.

Bethany: Yeah, like Have you stored this? For our listeners who have no idea what a moto bunny is? It's like this big like black box you like straddle, and there's like this little penis C type part or phallic part, I should say really? That like goes inside you and then vibrates and you like, you know, do your thing.

Zoe:  And there are three different types of Kosilek. You don't even have to have something that goes inside of you. There's like just different things that you can put on top, which I think is really interesting. It's also very expensive, usually around $1,000.

London: So it reminds me of those sex toys. And I hadn't seen these until recently, but instead of just being a dildo, it's like the whole bottom half of a man with legs and shit. And I thought that was so interesting because I never snapped.

Bethany: Yeah, that's kind of weird me out if I'm honest. I mean, like you do you like no real judgment, but those kinds of weird me out.

London: Anything that's too realistic is like, No, I'm not looking for a time. Well, yeah, fake plastic thing. I'm looking for time by myself. 

Bethany: Like I don't even like when dildos look too real. Like they're weird. Like, it should be bright purple and look like you know, like look like a random shape. Like it should not look real.

London:No, me neither. Okay, I was gonna ask you guys have you ever used like a realistic dildo? Because I haven't and they're just so weird to me. And I'm like, is that the gay side of me, but I don't like penis enough. Yeah, I was gonna say is that the gay side of me, or are they just so unappealing?

Bethany: Yeah. Is that like the girl part of the by half? Or like what? 

London: The only time I've ever seen like, I've never seen anyone like actually have those. I've just seen people like to get them as a joke. I've never seen someone get this like, I want a realistic penis toy.

Bethany: And they make them feel real, too.

London: I don't know. Maybe it's just not a cup of tea. If it's your cup of tea, please write it. Let us know obviously there's a market for that. So one has to be getting.

Bethany: Let us know how that goes? Like? Like, what do you feel about it? Like do you like to leave a sex toy?

London: That kind of also reminds me of a pocket pussy. Which is like another thing that it's just so like, weirdly unappealing. I don't know if anyone has ever used one. What would we use it for? I don't know finger it?

Bethany: Wait so when you say that when you say pocket pussy? Do you mean like, specifically one that looks like a vagina? Are you talking about anything like a massager type thing?

London: I'm talking about specifically one that looks like a vagina or specifically one that's just like, like a little flashlight? Yeah, like a little plastic hole. Okay, so

Bethany: Okay, so then I'm gonna say that's weird. In the same way that I think realistic dildos are weird, but if it doesn't look realistic, then I'm like whatever you do you because then it's just like the penis equivalent of me buying a dildo from my vagina. 

London: I don't think they're bad? I just think that the concept of them is a little like I don't know, like I feel like I wouldn't want to use it. That's it like I just don't like the way they feel.

Zoe: I'd stick my dick in it

Bethany: If I was a dude hell yeah if I was a dude I totally use it. Hell yeah.

Zoe: Just just to just to see but the cleaning of it I think would be a trip because then I use blow your fucking load into a plastic and silicone cup and then you have to literally go wash away your since

Bethany: You're gonna have to blow your load into something might as well blow it into one thing that's made you know? 

London: Okay, you got to point you gotta point you know if you would have told me that I was a fucking like whole person founder whatever the fuck I am and then literally just talking to the public about blowing my load. Nope, take a moment for that.

 Bethany: No, this is my boss you guys sitting around shooting the shit with the boss for me in London to say now it goes.

London: Up at this shit who let me do this this is like anyways after hours so this is like if we were I feel like this is just like if we were out after hours after work explicit except for we're just like this because professionalism issues doesn't exist so.

Zoe: Exactly. But anyways, good sex toy hygiene practices. If it goes inside of you, you need to fucking make sure it's clean. That's Yes. Or if you go inside of it. Yeah, you can put anything inside of you arguably with some precaution you know use your best judgment if you're brave enough. If you're brave enough anything could go inside of you. Just make sure that it is clean. You can just use a mild soap and water. I am hesitant to like scented soaps, although I feel like a lot of people have that and you know what if that's all that you have, use it better than that. Yeah, some toys can be boiled. So if you have just a purely silicone toy or anything like that, those can just straight up be boiled. Always check the instructions. They'll usually tell you what you can, can and can't do with them. Also if you're sharing toys with another person, again, please make sure that they're clean. Another really good way to do that as well is just putting a condom on a sex toy. It's still an option to share but just also know that it can spread STDs and STIs so always keep that in mind as well. And also I just want to make a note as well if something goes in your back door please do not put it into your front door Yeah.

Bethany: Good toy or not toy don't put anything like that. No, you know what even if you're with another person, don't let them go

London: Back to front action ever. Keep it exactly separate

Zoe: And everything if you have something in the back don't put it into your mouth until you wipe it off and I say that because you will get strep throat but you probably won't know until you listen to this or you find out for yourself I found out on tick tock know those things. Those are my safety standpoints in terms of lube if that's your thing, that's your thing. I encourage everyone to try out lube if you haven't ever. It's an absolute godsend. I would like to drown in a vat of lube pulleys. I think it's so good. Waterway Fluker works great for every toy silicone lube . Be very cautious in what you use it in. You know, it's great with metal or non porous glass, do not use it with silicone, it will degrade your silicone. So just be cautious of those things.

Bethany: Make sure you can tell what materials are in your product. But be aware that in the United States, there are no restrictions on sex toys. Oh, so there's no safety restrictions. There's no regulations, there's nothing so they can make anything and call it a sex toy. And it doesn't necessarily mean it's safe.

Zoe: Typically source that website pretty well. And this, this could be completely untrue. And maybe I'm just biased. I am actually probably very biased. But I feel like with a lot of big sex toy manufacturers, I feel like you're gonna run into that a little bit more. There are a couple of brands that I have in mind. Unbound is one of the ones that I love fully, I adore them. They're amazing. And everything that they make is with body safe silicone. And I think that's amazing. Anything that you can get that body safe or health grade silicone wise, those are great bets because it usually means that they're using a really, really high quality silicone while also

Bethany: When you're shopping, make sure you know the limits of your own body. There are certain disabilities and various medical issues that make it unsafe to use certain toys in certain ways. So if you like have any questions, like reach out to your doctor, I know it's embarrassing, but it's better to be like, Hey, Doc, can I use a dildo than finding out you can't and after we go to the doctor to fix it, we can't have to go to the doctor for embarrassing things. If it doesn't have a flared base, don't shove it up your ass because you'll end up in the ER explaining to a nurse why this thing you shoved up your butthole.

Zoe: And if you need examples, you can literally look up x-rays of people who have shoved things into their holes without flared bases. Just so you know. You know

Bethany: What? Okay, I'm gonna tell the story real quick. So I got this bug plug one time, right, I only ended up trying it like once because I wasn't. I ended up not really being my thing. But the bass wasn't flared. And I was only a little flared. And I was like, Oh, well maybe that's enough. And then luckily Okay, so luckily it didn't end up in an ER trip situation. But there was a moment of panic where I was like, oh, where I thought and I ended up okay, so it was all okay in the end. There was a moment of panic.

Zoe: When in doubt, sneeze it out that's all I'll say. Always have a flared base, or you too will have a moment of panic.

Bethany: Yeah, so yeah, but again, no regulation so that was supposedly designed to go you know what bug and obviously it was not designed that well you know, so like, keep an eye on what you buy.

Zoe: You know one butt plug that I've always wanted to try and i There's no fucking basis for this. I want to try one of those fucking tails and it's not because I like that shit. I think it's I don't know personally I think it's kind of odd like the whole animal everything more part two, yeah, whatever. People pay big bucks for that. But I'm like, I just want to try.

Bethany: Oh my God, that's oldest fuck to furries are from like the BC to man. Their oldest boss.

Zoe: Which is fucking crazy. But yeah, again, you know?

Bethany: From the dawn of time, human beings were like, yeah, that girl's hot. What if she looks kind of like a fox?

London:You mean from the beginning of time people have been into beasty ality I love to hear.

Bethany: Well, no, no, it's not this yell because they're not notionally.

London: Okay, I know it makes it sound like nor do I desire to. It sounds like I'm saying furries. No, we're sorry furries.  It was a jokey joke. It was a jokey joke. I'm sorry, guys. This is my cancellation moment. 

Bethany: Yeah, sorry we are not haters, live your life.

London: I know you guys don't actually want to fuck animals and that's all that matters.

Zoe: Something I wouldn't stick my deck into.

Bethany: Exactly.

Zoe: But yeah, always exercise caution, a lot of them too. And this is just kind of interesting as well but like if it is something with a motor, make sure that if you bring it into a wet space i.e. a shower or bath, make sure that you can actually bring it into those spaces, or those spaces if it doesn't have a motor. Probably don't use it under the covers because it can overheat and that's an issue. If it's something with batteries, just make sure that your batteries aren't eroding. You know, just take normal precautions as you would any electric IV do anything but stuff. You should probably use lube just for thought. Unless you just, I don't know. anal fissures man.

Bethany: No, no, unless No, yeah, no, unless

Zoe: Just use the lube. Okay, I read an entire book on it. So I think sex tech is so interesting. I think we're finally starting to get into a way or into a space where like, white men are no longer dominating the sex toys and porn industry. And I think it's the best thing fucking ever. And it will only continue to grow. A lot of the brands have toys that I support fully, arguably all of them run by women or by people with vaginas. And I think that's really fucking cool. Because primarily, those are the people who are using these toys. And yeah, I just think it's a great thing. But you know, we've seen the development of gender neutral sex toys, like we were talking about, like hyper realistic dildos. Does anyone really use them? just having that idea of not everything has to look like something. I'm gonna think that's really cool.

Bethany: I was gonna say that kind of ties into gender neutral sex toys becoming more popular too. Because like, more and more, we're leaning away from like, female sex toys, male sex toys, like because not only is it really gendered, but like, not even super accurate anyway. So, gender neutral sex toys are like the future.

 Zoe:Yeah And it even goes into colors, right? Like not everything is like hot pink, and, you know, bright purple. There's a brain that still makes those that are literally based on the pride flags.

Bethany: That totally reminds me of this one that I saw at the store once. That was the Incredible Hulk one. And it was green and really, really, really big.

Zoe: There are tentacles I've Oh, you know what? I haven't ever when I went to the museum of sex, which is located in New York City to great space if you haven't already been there. This is random. I heard it was overrated. No, it was so fucking cool. I think so anyways, but it was so here's the thing though. You have to be like a sex history buff.

London: Okay, that makes sense. I feel like people go and they hear sex and they just want to go but they're not into history and ship.

Zoe:I really liked it. It gets into like the history of masturbation and like old masturbation films and like a ton of different stuff in this shop at the end, amazing. There was this dildo that was probably like 20 inches long. It was thick and it was heavy and it was a tentacle. I put it in me that thing was almost like $150 So and it just looks so cool.

London: I thought you said that you did put it in your conversation but you put it in you in the middle of the store and I was like Zoe so we oh my goodness.

Zoe: Nooo!

Bethany: And then I was like, Okay, there's no way she said that but I'm glad that you do.

Zoe: I wanted to. I would have but no no. Granted I was the only person there because apparently people don't want to go to the museum of sex at like 8am. Meanwhile, I like dressing up in nines like walking into the museum of sex like the minute that they open at 8am. Like this is great. I'm so excited to learn.

Bethany: Have you guys heard of the bad dragon store? No. So it specializes in fantasy styles. I only know of its website. I don't know if it's like a real one because I only ever found out about it because they were talking about it on social media but you guys should look up like the bad dragon store online. They have some weird ones. Hold on, let me look it up and see what some of the samples are. Oh yeah, so well ones that look like dragons obviously.

Zoe: Oh, I've heard about this.

Bethany: A unicorn ones

London: Whoo. These are fun.

Bethany: Oh my gosh. That looks like a monster pa Oh my god. You can get all sorts of types. 

London: these are actually really fun. Would I use any of them? Probably not. But these look like a fun time.

Bethany: This one looks like a dragon's tongue.Oh, this is like the sleeves I was talking about the column sheets, so they even have them here so you can make a real life leaner like a fantasy. 

London: This is actually so much fun. I will get one of these with a partner. Not on my own because I feel like I'd be a little weirded out oh, they have Packard if I had someone to I'd be like here, put this on. Just whip it out. You have someone who just like you put the soil.

Zoe: Like, I'm just thinking of like the wearables.

Bethany: They straight up sell the dragon that comes in the bottle, and they make little ejaculating dildos.

London: Just like having someone with a vagina over and like pulling out like a dragon.

Zoe: Placement to come to the syringe to go to use.

London; Ask for this for Christmas.

Bethany: So yeah, all our listeners look up the bad dragon website. We're not sponsored or anything.If you want to sponsor us.

Zoe: Absolutely, we will make it happen.

Bethany: Y'all are wild versus we talking about toys of the future.

Zoe: There's much to be said, I think especially with that kind of toys with more like fantasy based things. There's also much to be said about smart toys and kind of that growing, there's one brand that I think about a lot who kind of got into it and pioneered a lot of it. And it was actually for sex workers, there's a line of toys, and I can't remember off the top of my head what they're called. So there's, I think, a couple different types. But one of them in particular is for people who do camping. And as you tip someone, it vibrates. And I just thought that was really cool.

Bethany: Oh my God, that's cool. I'd be like, give me money. And I'll get

Zoe: It and that's what it is. And so yeah, you can, you know, like if someone tips more money, it vibrates more, there's a ton of different ways that you can go about that. And I think that's really amazing. Also, VR is just going crazy right now, I think, especially as we see the growth of like aI sextiles, where it's completely customizable to even the fact that we can now scan our body use, enter the VR world, and do whatever we want. I think there are some ethical issues with that in the idea of like, you know, you can scan a porn star and then like, or someone who does porn, you could scan someone you know, and you can buy that and then kind of do whatever. 

Bethany: By that same logic you can make deep fakes so I don't feel like it's any more ethical conundrum than standard porn. I think VR, right? Okay, what kind of weird me out is like the bots in the dolls. Kind of in that same realistic complaint? Why? Like, I don't know, VR is okay to me, because it just just feels like porn plus, you know, versus like sex bots. And like, that's a little really immersive pornography. 

Zoe: Can we make an off branch of VR porn? 

London: Yeah,I feel like VR is just that extra step that some people need. But I feel like it's not something that everyone's going to be like rushing to. And I feel like bots are just, they also make me uncomfortable. I always think about them, like, just starting to emerge. And I'm like, huh, and there's always this idea, this idea that robots are gonna like robots.

Bethany: Uprising comes. I don't want to have a Sex Robot that meets me. 

Zoe: They have toys. Now dolls that are literally run on AI and you can like, customize what their pro or like personality is. And the more that you interact with them, the more that they know you. And I think they learn from you. And so they learn what you like, they know that's kind of creepy. I think that's kind of creepy. Could I do it? No, but I think that's so fucking cool for some people. You know, I appreciate the technology. Hello, technology. I think it's cool. I think it also like as we continue to do this, I think it's says a lot about I don't know, there's a lot of boundaries that should be discussed within this, you know, and I think that's, that's interesting.

Bethany: I also think there's going to be a lot of issues with internet connectivity, and I feel like we seek too far into the smart toy business, like how long until I'm gonna start watching ads before I can use my phone again. Yeah. It's gonna be like, again, this vibe session was brought to you by the Home Depot like like you know my coming again soon. Well, I do worry how long until and Tell our sex toys r us to like ad pharma for like marketing research. They'll make us connect to Facebook.

Zoe:You can see when your Facebook friends are okay?

Bethany: It'll be a new meta update. Keep an eye out for it.

Zoe: Can you imagine? There's one toy company called the lie or it's called Meijer nests. And they do. They have a vibrator that will track the intensity of your orgasm, and then you can take notes on it. And I think that's really interesting because with people who have health issues like science, yes, for science, and stuff like that, like they're able to see. And it's just interesting to see, like, you know, if someone is stressed what that looks like, if someone is just like, really fucking pent up like what that looks like, if someone is with a partner without looks like I think that's really cool.

London: I feel like I would find out that I'm having better orgasms by myself and with my partner. Yep. And I feel like that'll do. Damn I don't mean you know.

Bethany: I wouldn't think that's normal. Yeah. Because when you're by yourself, you have like, one goal in mind. And it's like, party time, you know, and it's all about you, you get to be greedy. It's just what you want. Verses when you're with somebody you know, you're kind of given and get in. Well, so like, no matter how much your partner knows you, they're not going to know you as well as you know yourself.

London: unless you don't mess up, my talking doesn't matter. But you should start because how can someone else know you? If you don't know you?

Bethany: Yeah, it's better for you. And you need to know your body.

Zoe: Exactly. There's two there, like short series that ended up getting canceled. Surprise, surprise, one of them is slit ever by Carly, I will not be pronouncing her last name. It was an old show on bias that is really, really good. There's an episode on VR sex, and sex toys. And they talked to someone who films VR porn, and talks to someone who works in the like adult industry, and then gets her body scan and all of that and just kind of talks about, like what her thoughts on that are. And then there's another one called sex stuff by Zoe Ligon. She just goes and like will talk to people, she'll reviews different sex toys. She has an entire episode on the sibian and literally had to cut it off because she was about to come on camera. And also, she is the founder of spectrum boutique, which actually, we have a discount code to spectrum. If you would like to check that out. It will be in the show notes.

London: I have a little comment on the future of sex toys. It makes me think of like, I don't know if any of you have seen but the show Grayson Frankie? Yes, it's basically a show about two older women and they invent a sex toy for older women who just have, I think it's issues with like, arthritis, or like just using normal sex toys.

Bethany: They have different sensitivity constraints, and like post menopause. And like, I think so much of the future of sex toys isn't going to be so much like smart toys. And I mean, I think that they're cool. And I think there's things that will gain and benefit from that, like, don't get me wrong, but I really think the future of sex toys is more about being inclusive. Now. It's going to be more open to varying body types and varying genders. And just like varying preferences, I think that's really like where our direction is headed. Or where I hope it's headed, at least I definitely think

London: Just make us have better quality sex toys overall, just because they're gonna like to move away from this idea of only making sex toys in this one way.

Zoe: I even think of like the language that we use with sex toys, you know, like that hyper feminine blonde bombshell that gets to be on every single sex toy, if it is something that is packaging, like even just moving away from that and like using gender neutral pronouns, or like no pronouns at all. Like when you're creating a sex toy description, there's much to be said about that. I'm so excited to see it. So excited. I was even thinking about like, in terms of inclusivity, there's a brand that I know of that makes it's kind of like a sleeve-ish type thing. But it's for people who have mobility issues, like it's just kind of like this pillow that you can put any toy in, and then you can move around it to make it suit you. And I think that's really cool. There's another company called the Oh nut that makes cock rings, kind of they're just rings, I would say that sit at the base of your penis so that if you're with someone who needs a little bit more control with the dev or you know, just wants to go a little bit more shuttler Yeah, it's like a bumper. And they're stackable. I think that's so cool. I think we're gonna start to see this kind of revolution, you know, increase in what they look like, how they're used and who they're for. And yeah, I just couldn't be more excited that we get to live in that even in the last five years. I think we've grown immensely. I think all at all, you know, sex toys have been around for forever. They roughly have been about the same for a long, long, long time. And obviously they're just growing really quickly. We're going to see some really cool advancements in the future, and I just can't wait to see where we go and who else is finally included in these conversations and just masturbation in general. And yeah, that's pretty much all we have for you today. Tune in next time for a fun episode on Cartoon theories and we will see you next time.

Zoe:  Bye!

London: Bye!

Bethany:Bye!