Why Do I Feel Ashamed for Reading? The Stigma Around Women Reading Romance
Written By: Nicole Snook
Date: March 19th, 2026
Elin Melaas via UnsplashAs an English student in college, I frequently get asked, “What’s your favorite book? Got any recommendations?” or “What’s your favorite genre?”
Rather than giving my honest answer, I either shy away from the question, answer that I enjoy literary fiction, or tell them other books I have enjoyed that make me seem smart and well-read.
The real answer? I love the romance genre. The majority of my top 10 favorite books fall there.
Why do I feel the need to hide my love for romance novels? The general consensus seems to be that any reading is good reading, so why can’t I just tell people that I am an avid romance reader?
This is because of all the stigma online surrounding the romance genre. Romance faces more scrutiny compared to other genres. The stories are deemed frivolous, pointless, and shallow. The books are labeled as porn. Women who read romance are called out for not reading meaningful literary works.
Romance books explore the human condition and what it means to have a connection so deep that another person becomes so ingrained in your life. Millions of people experience love, men and women included, so of course there is a genre that tackles this extremely human experience. Besides, many romance books are more than just romance. These books have intricate characters with depth and unique personalities. There are complex stories and interesting plot lines. There are deeper meanings and lessons to take away from the story.
Even if those things aren’t present, who cares? Some people read for fun. Not every book needs to be life-changing. Stories can be read for entertainment and don’t need to have some deeper meaning. Many people come home from work and watch TV to turn off their brain and relax. Why is it different for people looking to do the same with books?
What even is the criterion for a book making someone seem “well-read?” Is it classic literature? Historical fiction? Literary fiction? Non-fiction? What about the classic romance books? If someone reads Jane Austen, are they considered well-read because her books were published 200 years ago? The definition of a “well-read” person is so subjective from person to person that there is no way to definitively identify this. Whether a person reads one romance book a year or one classic book a month, both are equally considered readers. Rather than criticizing what women read, we should be encouraging them to pick up any book that seems interesting to them.
Let’s just call this hate what it is: misogyny. The English Oxford Dictionary explains the definition of misogyny as the “Hatred or dislike of, or prejudice against women.” This is exactly what is happening in the discourse present around the romance genre. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the genre that sees the most hate is predominantly enjoyed by women readers.
With literacy rates declining, it is more important than ever for people to pick up a novel and read. Stigmatizing and shaming women who read romance makes reading become something they should hide, or it can make them think that maybe it’s something they shouldn’t do at all. Rather than shaming women, we should be encouraging and celebrating anyone who reads, no matter the genre. Reading is supposed to be fun, so let women have their fun romance books.
As I have progressed through my literary journey, I have slowly found people who don’t judge the books I read. I have found online creators who share their love of romance openly and without shame. Some of these creators include @SaraCarrolli, @haleypham, and @LarryReads.
These conversations and sharing our love for romance unapologetically are what inspire people to read more.
I shouldn’t feel ashamed of the books I enjoy. All reading should be celebrated and appreciated equally. There is nothing wrong with loving romance books, so here are some of my favorites.
Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams
Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood
Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez
The Deal by Elle Kennedy
Till Summer Do Us Part by Meghan Quinn
Romance books are a great place for people to start their reading journey. It's what got me into reading, and now four years later, I still read romance as well as a plethora of other genres. So let’s get rid of the stigma around the romance genre and let people read what they want to read. I hope this inspires you to go out and read a new romance book. Who knows, it might just become your next favorite read.
“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the genre that sees the most hate is predominantly enjoyed by women readers.”
Women’s hobbies tend to be belittled by society. Back in the 2010s, women were made fun of for loving boy bands and were deemed “fangirls.” Now, this hate has shifted on to women who read romance. Discourse online commonly claims readers of BookTok and the romance genre, communities dominated by women, are contributing to the rise of anti-intellectualism. I have seen posts criticizing women for reading a fun, smutty book and not analyzing its contents. I have seen people trashing popular romance books for “appealing to the masses” rather than having a deeper meaning. I have seen people claim that reading a book with smut is just as unethical as watching porn. Many of these arguments come from women readers. Historically women have been oppressed, and even though many advances have been made for women’s rights, the impacts of misogyny are still seen today. Since misogyny is so deeply ingrained into our society, women are criticized by fellow women. Romance books provide women with a place to explore their sexuality in a safe space meant only for them. Why should we criticize them and take their safe space away?
Written by: Nicole Snook
About the author description: Nicole Snook is an editorial staff member and a student working towards her English degree with a minor in professional writing. She enjoys reading, horse back riding, and gaming.
Misogyny, BookTok, Women’s Oppression
Check out our social media for more resources:
Additional Reading
Leave a comment